Washington State Lawyer Hunting Regulations

[Joe Wooten]

An oldie, but still good....

Washington State Attorney Season And Bag Limits
Section 1400.01 - General

Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.

Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.

Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "open bar" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Cadillac dealerships.

It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, currency, or staged vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.

If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.

Harvested attorneys must have a state health department inspection for distemper and rabies prior to being stuffed or mounted.

It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as an accident victim, young law clerk, drug dealer, bookie, or sheep for the purpose of attracting and hunting attorneys.