Should the father of the bride be involved in the dress selection?

[Commander]

So, Number One daughter has met the man she wishes to be dedicated to for the next seven years (average length of a marriage). M.O.A.R. and the daughters went dress shopping yesterday and mom came back with plenty of pictures to regale (bore) me with. I perfunctorily went through the images, saw one I thought should never be seen near my daughter and one I liked. MOAR of course asked which one I liked the most and I responded that if I told her she couldn't tell anyone. I told and first thing she did was call daughter no. 2 and spilled the beans. I want my daughter to be happy in whichever dress she picks, not pick one by general consensus. If she picked one she really liked, and it had a neckline down to there and a slit up to there, "there" be the navel, and I told her no, should that be my call?

Add to all that, apparently some fathers are actually going dress shopping with the bride. I don't think they would have liked me going along although everyone says otherwise. On the few occasions I went clothes shopping for the new school year, my approach was:
1. What do you need?
2. Here's you budget.
3. You have x number of minutes to decide.
Spending a whole day, or even half a day on dress shopping, running from one side of the city to the other, just isn't in my makeup.

Am I wrong?

[Commander]

I went to a second fitting, stood around, made the family anticipated comment. Ugh.

[Rocket Babe]

Sounds like a recent activity to me. As the wife or daughter, I would not require you to participate past the point of setting a limit unless you wanted to be involved. There are many things to be considered when buying a wedding dress but it boils down to the image the girl wants to project and where she's getting married. If you want to wear a white bikini at the beach, fine. If you want to look like a Vegas hooker at church, no. It's all common sense but dad shouldn't be made to participate unless he wants to, but if he does, he does so with a smile and the understanding it will take a lot of time and money, so if you don't want to go through it all, stay home and mind the Cantina and leave the dress shopping to the professionals.

[luke strawwalker]

Sounds like a recent activity to me. As the wife or daughter, I would not require you to participate past the point of setting a limit unless you wanted to be involved. There are many things to be considered when buying a wedding dress but it boils down to the image the girl wants to project and where she's getting married. If you want to wear a white bikini at the beach, fine. If you want to look like a Vegas hooker at church, no. It's all common sense but dad shouldn't be made to participate unless he wants to, but if he does, he does so with a smile and the understanding it will take a lot of time and money, so if you don't want to go through it all, stay home and mind the Cantina and leave the dress shopping to the professionals.

^^^^ This^^^^

Couldn't agree more, Verna. Spot on!

Now, if I could have just been able to stay in the waiting room during the birth, LIKE GOD INTENDED... But NOOO... "You gotta be there!"

"But, BUT, Miss Scarlett... I don't know NUTHIN' 'bout birthin' no babies!!!"

"Hey buddy-- you were there when this baby was created, you're going to be there when it enters the world... end of discussion"...

"Yes, dear..."

Oh my... the bad flashbacks... I stayed by the head of the bed during the Caesarian... DEFINITELY not interested in anything below the arms that day!

Then the doc asks me the strangest question... "You want to cut the umbilical?"

"H3LL NO!! Why do you think we're paying YOU $15,000??? You're the medical expert-- have at it! I'm fine RIGHT HERE!"

So they hand me this wet squirming kid they've just mopped off and Betty wants to see her... I lean down a little and extend my arm I'm holding her on, and I swear Keira pics up her head and turns it and looks over at Betty... Betty looks just like a deflated balloon... I mean literally, like that guy they took the transfusion from at the end of "Hot Shots!" Part Deux"... They take Keira and tell me I can either go with Keira or with Betty, not both, so pick...

(in Richard Pryor voice-- bonus points for ID-ing the movie this quote came from)
"This has been a nerve-shattering experience for me sir... I'd like to go home!"

So, I end up following the bed Betty's in as they wheel her out...

Next thing I remember is standing out in the hallway with my younger brother who's just arrived, standing and looking in the window of the nursery... they wheel Keira over and she's red as a beet and screaming her lungs out; we can hear her through the bulletproof glass... My brother looks down at her and then looks over at me, and says,
"You are in SO much trouble!"

I facepalmed as reality set in... he was right... LOL:)

Ok, we're not going to talk about wedding dresses again, EVER... I told Keira she can start dating when she's 24 and finished with her Master's degree, and she agreed... Hey, she was five at the time and it sounded okay to her then, BUT SHE AGREED... we have an AGREEMENT and we're sticking to it!!! SO, maybe she starts dating at 24 and is ready to get married around the time she's 30... Yeah, that's it... that should be acceptable.

Course I told her he better have a nice Deere combine for me to drive when I'm helping him with harvest on his 10,000 acre spread...

Yeah, something like that... works for me!

Later! OL J R

[Commander]

I know MOAR will be perplexed with me if she ever reads this, but....

Daughter no. 2 came lickity split in contrast to daughter no.1. As I came in to the room around 2:30-3:00 am, the doc was stitching up the episiotomy. I looked to my wife, then the doc, then back to my wife and said,

"I knew you said you were going to have it sown shut, but I didn't think you were serious."

[luke strawwalker]

I know MOAR will be perplexed with me if she ever reads this, but....

Daughter no. 2 came lickity split in contrast to daughter no.1. As I came in to the room around 2:30-3:00 am, the doc was stitching up the episiotomy. I looked to my wife, then the doc, then back to my wife and said,

"I knew you said you were going to have it sown shut, but I didn't think you were serious."

LOL:)

Bet that went over great...

OK I'm missing something... MOAR? What is that?

For those of us stuck "out in the sticks"... LOL:)

Later! OL J R

[bernomatic]

M.O.A.R. is the other half. She use to post every once in a while. It means, Mother Of All Rockets. A spur of the moment user name.

[luke strawwalker]

M.O.A.R. is the other half. She use to post every once in a while. It means, Mother Of All Rockets. A sir of the moment user name.

Ah... okay I was expecting something I was more familiar with, like SWMBO-- she who must be obeyed... LOL:)

As for the dress selection-- having an (almost) teen-age daughter, it is already WELL UNDERSTOOD that Daddy maintains "veto power" over clothes selection and appearance in public... especially when she made the comment that she wants a "quinceanera" AND a "sweet 16" party at some point (having a young Mexican aunt (sister in law) put the "quinceanera" bug in her ear) but we calmly informed her that she can have one or the other, NOT BOTH, and in NO WAY will it resemble the uber-expensive blow-out parties that we've attended (quinceanearas) of her aunt's family and friends... When they throw parties, they THROW PARTIES, but we don't blow that kind of money on that sort of thing...

Later! OL J R